whooooaaaa we're half way the-re!

You are singing the rest right?

just a quick post to share the new images of Ziggy.

19w. 5d.  They call 20 weeks half way.  This dating thing is weird.  I thought 38 weeks was full term.  what ever!  We're halfway there!

LOOK AT ZIGGY'S SWEET FACE!!

The dark bits in his/her chest is the heart.

Both Jason and I thought we saw scrotum and penis.  but we're still keeping it a birth surprise, so the technician didn't linger, and didn't tell us.

I'm feeling HAPPY.  I haven't felt happy in a really long time.  I had moments of joy, and pleasure.  My daily feeling was 'grump'.  This past week or so I've woken up feeling GOOD. 

OMG!  I'm having a baby!!

17w 3d

That's 4 months to you!

I've been *terrible* at photos.  I'll take one today though.  I took one at about 3 months.  The comparison will be nice!


Nothing much has changed.

I have indeed got a little motivation back.  Still tired, but more motivated to get things done. 
That might have something to do with the the fact that I lost my job.  Long story short, I was not doing my job well.  I was finding being nice, and productive while pregnant really hard, apparently.

I say apparently because I can sometimes be clueless.  I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I have trouble seeing how my actions effect others (and then therefore, myself).  I was blindsided.  I don't think it was handled well, and I'm perusing action.  I don't expect much to come from it.  I can't imagine, other than 2 weeks termination pay, I'll get anything from it.  But I intend to rock the boat, just enough, for a couple higher ups to wonder what is going on.

So that has me just a little stressed out.  I trust we will be fine.  And even in my 'weak' moments of worry, I still believe it.


But back to Ziggy!  The exciting blessing of my life (uh oh, am I sounding like a sappy parent already!?)

I have been feeling movement, very randomly, since about 12 weeks.  At first it just feels like a whisper. 

But for the last 3 nights I've been feeling Pokes.  And last night I put my hand on my lower stomach and felt Ziggy poke my hand.  I had a giggling fit (with some tears) and debated waking J, but he had to get up at 5:30am, and it was already midnight.  Ironically (or whatever) I couldn't fall back to sleep and got up at 6:30. 

Thank goodness for naps (and not having to work so I can nap?)

more posting?

Yesterdays Facebook update:

"Some upsetting news, I just got canned. 

I've been struggling at work, keeping up with Starbucks customer service standards. Getting defensive, and according to complaints, rude. My Store Manager is understanding, and we have been working on it, but most people don't go to her (she's new), they go directly to the District Manager. And I guess part of the DM's job is to get rid of people who are making customers unhappy. I don't want to use it as a crutch, but these hormones are getting the better of me. My behaviour is inexcusable, but understandable?? (esp. in the entitled ass beaches?)"

So many mixed emotions.  I was very unhappy, and I'm glad I don't have to go back.  But...MONEY!?

I have enough hours for maternity/parental leave.  

My first thought was to go get even a part time job to cover some expenses.  The problem with that, is it would be *those* hours that I get for mat leave.  Not a lot!

So, my next thought was E.I.  The DM gave me what she considered a so very generous offer.  I could take the rest of the week suspended with pay, and then quit, or 'come back' and have a meeting, where, in all reality, I would get fired (not laid off, misconduct fired).  

I've decided to 'quit'.  ('Cause God knows, if I wasn't pregnant, I'd be at a new job by now!)

There are 2 routes that I could take re. E.I..
I can claim I had just cause for quitting.  (pregnancy stress?  forced to quit?)
Or I can try and get my doctor to sign off on sick leave (stress being the reason)

If those don't pan out?  I hope I can find a full time job for 4-5 months.


I have faith it will all work out.