I'm married, love, and am attracted to my J, and, I still get crushes.
I think the worst part about them isn't the fact I get them. I've come to terms with being attracted to someone else. At first it was really upsetting. I didn't want to leave J to be with this person, but wow was he cute and crushable. Why the heck did I feel like this?? Luckily, and though actual work, J and my relationship is great, and I have no desire to leave him. I guess it just happens. People aren't robots with 'crush' switches.
The worst part about my crushes is that I get possessive, and I feel hurt when my crushes crush on other people. When they spend time with *other* friends of mine, and maybe even hook up.
I often, and not just in this type of situation, find my mind split. This time it's split between "If *I* can't have him NO ONE CAN! MINEMINEMINE *pout*" and "Hey, that's a pretty good match, she's got what he wants/likes and well, he's awesome. I hope it works!"
I think some of this stems from the fact that, until I was married (or in my other long term relationship with Pants), I ended up getting involved with most of my guy friends (the ones who didn't have girlfriends). I've got it ingrained in my little brain. Boys I like=Major crush=pounce. And it's specific to boys too. I haven't had a crush on a girl since high school.
I can see now, how people cheat long term, rather than leaving their spouse. You have a good thing going at home, but it's a little broken (poor communication?) and this new and exciting thing is happening. New and exciting is well, new and exciting.
No wonder men buy fancy new cars during their mid life crisis!