I've got a bee in my bonnet.
A bone to pick.
I was talking to a pregnant friend the other day. People had been chastising her for not asking for help. I mentioned that she needs to get used to asking 'cause people don't follow through when they say they will once the baby is born.
I had immediate family come visit and help for a little bit.
I had one friend come.
It took about 4 months for me to feel settled into my new roll.
That was 4 months of feeling overwhelmed at one point or another during the day.
I was (am) so blessed to have a pretty happy baby who napped and ate well. With virtually no support I'm not sure how I would have coped if he wasn't. Or if I had the baby blues, or worse, PPD.
I asked generally on facebook for help. I didn't want to single out anyone.
What bugged me was that while pregnant people where SO excited. It seemed sometimes more excited than me! I thought that meant they where going to come help.
When J wasn't working I got to have a bath. Cook dinner with out concern about burning it.
J has a pretty high stress job. He helped a lot. He was the one cleaning the house. He was official Diaper Changer.
Obviously I got though those 4 months. Things could have been better. Things could have been WAY worse.
I am imploring you. Have a friend who is going to have a baby? Go visit. Go give them company. She will likely be a little brain dead, and not a great conversationalist, but adult company will be great! Sweep the floor, do the dishes, bring food, hold the baby while she has a shower. All of those would be amazing, one a blessing.
No need to stay for 5 hours (she likely doesn't want you there for 5 hours).
Also: visit after that first month! She still has a baby, and dirty dishes. She still needs to eat and bathe, and talk to another adult!
We still need our village.
Oh, and 6 months in, although I'm feeling overwhelmed a lot less frequently, I'm finding myself needing a break. A break from being on all day and night. A friend is coming over for a bit this morning to watch Lionel while I sit in a cafe and read a book. What? Yea, I could be cleaning the house, reorganizing the bedroom etc. etc. Instead, I'm taking a much needed mental break.