J is away once or 2ce a month with Pickle. A whole weekend to myself.
I like being alone, and not having to do anything or think of anyone but myself.
Case in point. I completely waisted about $20 on junk food this weekend. Blue cheese, pate, ice cream, multi grain smoked cheddar crisps, cereal. Food J either doesn't like, or food I don't want to share. (see...re my last post...I'm not pointing the finger at others with out seeing my own 'faults' too!! when I came home I felt SO guilty for spending that money on non necessities, allowing myself to not care, giving into "this food will make me feel good", and not wanting to share. So I accepted it, and ate the ice cream in 2 days)
Don't get me wrong. I love J very very much, and he still makes me smile when he walks in the door. I won't be getting rid of him any time...ever.
But that solitude. SO GOOD. I'm not even doing anything productive with it. Indulging in the solitude.
I guess that's all I wanted to say. I like being alone. And I'll have to make sure it's built into my month once Pickle grows too old for visits, and we have kids together. I read about strangers (on blogs) and watch friends going mad not having time alone. I know I'll have to make date night/day/weekend with my self in order to stay sane. I can't feel guilty about that, because a sane wife/mommy is a happy wife/mommy/ME.