attatched

I am exclusively breastfeeding (or ebf as they say in online forums)
LeoB eats every 1-4 hours.  Usually 2.
People have offered to watch him so J and I can go out.
J wants to go out.

Me?  I don't.
ok.  Not quite true.  I do.  I want to go out with J.  I want to go out with my friends.

But that's not the way it's going to be anytime soon.  At least not without Bunny.
Because, like I said above:  I'm ebf.  And that just means it's not time, yet.

I do have a little hand breast pump.  I have used it.  It's not hard, or unbearably uncomfortable.  LeoB has taken a bottle or 2. 
So why not pump and go out?

I don't feel ok about it.
LeoB is only 7.5 weeks old.
If bottles, pumps and formula had not been invented I would not be able to be away for more than an hour.
I think that is something significant.  My gut tells me not to leave him yet.

I've had my struggles adjusting for sure.  I'm tired, my back hurts, my mind is a little addled.
But I did know I'd be attached to this baby for a while yet.  Because it just makes sense to me.  He needs me. 
J being such an active parent is amazing.  LeoB and I are truly blessed to have such a great guy in our lives.

I don't know when the right time will be to leave him for more than an hour.  But I will.