Well!

*that* was a cruddy blogging week.  My apologies.

I'm finding myself wondering what to write about these days. 

I don't feel like I have a lot of fun/ny stuff going on.  and I don't what to winge all the time!


Currently I'm trying to finish up writing a 15 minute clown turn for submission for @toronto Festival of Clowns.

I'm feeling really nervous about it. 


What else is going on here?

Starbucks update:
I'm on a Partner Development Plan.
Where you pick 3 things to improve, What you can do to improve them, and what success will look like.  It feels like a punishment, but I've been assured it's just so the DM has results to see, so she can tell the RM (Regional Manager) that things are happening.


Baby news: 
I feel like the old adage "no news is good news" doesn't fit here. 
We're still actively trying.  That's it!



We're just living our lives.
My eating habits have slid again.

I found some inspiration in a Toronto "nutritionista".  Meghan Telpner.  I don't know a lot about what she does yet, but she's written a book called Undiet.
From what I've seen and read she's all about whole foods as 'medicine'.  She 'cured' her Crohn's Disease, and now teaches and writes.  (She is a nutritionist as well, as is her hubby, so she's not just doing this off the cuff)
She teaches a class called "Culinary Nutrition Expert" and I hope to take it soon. 

I think I know a lot about what she is talking about.  I know I need to Eat gluten free, and whole foods.  Sometimes it's overwhelming.  Maybe reading, and following the book will heal.  Then to get hands on?  Amazing. 

Back after I hurt my shoulder at Ace Bakery I had been looking at doing the Holistic Nutrition course Sister ended up doing, so something like this is right up my ally.  Maybe we can do it together!

the stuff I didn't toss back

The last few weeks of stuff I thought was neat:

Very cool plastic wrap alternatives.  Bee's Wraps!

Some silly fun

Mario bros. subway map!

Thumbs up instead of guns!

Super cool marble machines.  Click the link for videos!

Oh Canada...?...

I pranced around too

Happy Spring!

It's sunny but cold today.
That's OK.  Next week the temp. goes up.

for now, let's sing the spring here!

chipping away at my ego

Last I left you I had one interview, had been coached and had gotten my period.  And felt like crap.


I had a second interview on Sunday with the SM(see below for that these short forms mean) whose store I was being transferred to.  I practised my buzz words and jargon and BS in the shower, while making food, while tying my shoes.

I do the interview.  I kept seeing his eyes light up.  I was saying the right things.  In the right way.  And when he had a concern, he clarified.  It was brilliant.  *I* was brilliant.  Brilliant enough that in the 15 minutes it took me to get to work to start my shift, he had already spoken to my own SM to say how well it went.  She was beaming.

This was my FB status update on Sunday:

"so. apparently the other manager I interviewed with was on crack. (according my now manager, my words though, not hers) I aced this one. unless the DM thinks *I'm* on crack I've got the position. onward and upward and learning how to talk like a corporate douchebag."


Well.  I didn't even get as far as an interview with the DM.  

Yesterday, Monday, I start work at 10am.  My SM is visibly rattled.  Everyone is talking about how upsetting the DM can be.
Fast forward to 1:30, when I take my lunch.  
My SM tells me what happened.
Turns out, my first interview, the one that didn't go well, counts.   The DM has decided that my second interview, the really good one, doesn't, because I shouldn't have done it at all.  
She also said that The SM who wants to take me is just desperate and wants someone ASAP.
Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

My SM fought for me all morning.  
The DM called her a bully.  A BULLY. *sigh*

Now they are holding me back for a month so I can become more 'results oriented'.
The good thing is I get to stay at my new sore, with my awesome manager who fights for me.

My old SM did not.  That is why/how I got passed over for SS in the first place.  My old SM didn't stand up for me.

What was interesting was my reaction.  I kinda chuckled and said I didn't expect anything less.  It would have been great to have been promoted but I've been derailed so many times, maybe it just wasn't right.  Again.  

Maybe I say this just so I don't go mad, but 'things happen for a reason'.  I don't really care to know that reason.  Maybe I will save someones life.  Maybe someone will meet someone and they will have a baby and they will cure cancer.  Or, maybe I needed to make someone smile, so they can make someone smile.  Regardless.  It makes me feel better, and doesn't hurt anyone.

All this was fresh in my mind last night during Clown Jam.  We had a guest teacher who studied with Gaulier.  A master clown/performer/teacher who, in short, breaks you down to a raw nubbin.  Once there you are built back up.  It sounds harsh and terrible (and I'm sure it is!) but John explained it very well.  Better than I've heard it before.  I had a light bulb moment regarding my own clown performance.  And then we spoke about chipping away at the ego.  That raw nubbin, that is you, with no ego.  

I can take this Starbucks experience and become hardened and bitter.  Or I can allow it to make me into an egoless raw nubbin.  A smart, savvy, happy, unjaded raw nubbin.  


I *know* this isn't personal.  I know that because the DM doesn't know who I am.  Sure we've met.  But she's not my friend, or even colleague.

All I can do is take the sand blasting as a lesson.  And rise above. 


Also.  I be human.  I'm still cheesed.




DM- district manager, SM- Store manager, SS- Shift supervisor.

urg...life hits hard, and I bruise easily.

Imma not going to whine.  Or whinge. 

I'm just going to talk.

Today was a cruddy day.  Or the second half was.  It started out not great because I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  It was also odd because I kept remembering my start time wrong, and that messed me up when I was looking at transit times. 
Regardless.  Once I got to work I was sleeeeepy.  We both had trouble sleeping last night.  The day progressed ok.  This was my first 8 hour shift I've had in forever.  and My manager was coming in after to coach me more for my next two interviews.

Side note-
I had my first interview Friday, on my day off, in the middle of the day.  It was super short, and really relaxed, so I thought I did fine.  Apparently I was TOO relaxed.  He liked me, and thought I'd make a good shift...but, um...I didn't say the right things.  I needed a second Manager interview.  *sigh*


Today I'm ready to not bother.  I'm being moved to a store I don't want to go to.  I'm learning how to lie.  I spent 2 hours with my manager.  And now, NONE of my answers are truth.

They know I'm being coached.  But I need to answer as if I've come up with the answers myself. 

urg.

and then I got my period.

FINALLY!

So, the Starbucks news is:

A manager quit.  Without notice.  That leaves the poor staff scrambling for a shift (or higher) to cover the holes.

Oh, what?  there aren't enough shifts in the district to cover? 

PROMOTE EVERYBODY! 
Even though this won't solve the imidiate problem.

But whateves.


That means my promotion that has been waffling "oh it will happen if this this this, or this and this, or this happens" is being fast tracked.  As in, I have to officially interview, and it's this Friday and a second in a week. 

AAAAAAA!

The sad part is I have to change store again.

I was just getting used to my new store!

I will be going to Lakeshore and Leslie.  The one in the Canadian tire etc. building.  It's farther away than I want, but the one time I phantomed there I really liked the vibe.  The only problem is that the tills are 4 inches too low, so I have to bend over to get change.  But Leslie Street Spit!  YA!

Any way.  it's movement.  and that's good.

MARCH! YES! WAY more in the 'net

I'm going to show you *right now*  how much February sucks, but showing you how much, only 11 days in, March is so much better.


Here is what I found in the 'net this week:

There are many more.  So good.

How amazing is this dad!!



a fun musical mashup
Although I was never a fan of NIN, or CRJ for that matter, I understand *just* enough to be thoroughly amused by this mashup!

Grab a tissue.  Then go hug someone.  I hope I can give support like his family give.  I hope I have the courage Tim has.



and for good measure:

Have a good week!

What did you find in the 'net this week?

Oh, Hai.

Today was a gorgeous day.  It was 10*C and sunny. 
I got off work early, and went to the Y.  I rowed 2K, and felt good enough to do the elliptical machine for 10 minutes and SWEAT.  I found out Farewell Cool Reason is a stellar band to row to.  I rocked out and rowed.  Ha.  
There was a woman on an elliptical machine across the room from me doing the same thing.  I think smiling while you work out is a good thing! 

Then I saw my friend Allan on the subway and was sad I was only going one stop.  It was nice seeing him.  He was on his way home from teaching his weekly drop in improv class. Then he was going to wake Mullet up to do a show tonight.  I didn't get a chance to ask what the show was...hold on, I'll go troll around Facebook and see if it's a public event!

... ... ...

Oh look!  it's Lizzy Violets Cabaret Noir.  Looks like fun and is PWYC. 

I'm pooped though.  I only slept 5 hours last night.  Looks like I'm starting to suffer from both insomnia and migraines. 
arg. 

I've been meaning to start meditation again.  That helps with calming my brain down. 

Last night I was going though a mind interview for becoming a shift supervisor.  There isn't an official date, but SM#2  says it's happening. 
Yes, SM#2.  I'm being shared between two stores right now.  I'm mostly at store #2 right now.  I really like the manager.  We're both Leos.  It's a good thing. 
I'll be getting split between both stores as they both only need someone part time.

SM#2 is grooming me to eventually become an ASM and then a SM

The only thing getting in my way is a baby!  ha.  Not that I care *that* much.  It would be nice to have a salaried job, but if I get pregnant and I decided not to go back to work.  Meh.  I'm not loosing *that* much.  Just don't tell the DM that or she won't even promote me to SS!




*SM=Store Manager, ASM=Assistant Store Manager, DM=District Manager.

all the plans

I've had days, as my friend Lannis said, eaten by a migraine.

Or multiple migraines.

My head has been sore, on and off, since Saturday morning.

Last time I had a migraine I discovered (TMI WARNING!) orgasms help.  If you can get past the pain, an orgasm makes the pain go away.  First I couldn't get past the pain.  And a few days later, it didn't help.

I took a homeopathic remedy, and that helped short term. 

I slept for 12 hours last night.  In pain.  I kept waking up and forcing my body to relax.


That is really it.  All I could do was troll Pinterest.  I couldn't read, or watch tv with any concentration, but I needed a distraction.  God Bless you Pinterest.  Go see what I pinned.

there was nothing neat on the internet last week.

Nothing came up in my search for interesting stuff on the internet!

COMMON INTERNET!  entertain me!


February is balls.  Even on the internet.  I want to add a 'blerg' in there too.  I've been watching 30 Rock.  I've taken to saying 'nerds!' as well.  I'm finding 30 Rock to be a perfect 20 minute show.  and funny.  I'm hard to please when it comes to funny.  Tina Fey is pretty fantastic.

Speaking of funny.  As I said in previous posts, I performed a lot in Feb.
Edith spoke last week. Edith hosted 'Red Nose District'

"The Red Nose District show was created to provide a space for new clowns, returning clowns and veteran clowns to create and hone new material in front of a supportive audience."

Edith didn't used to speak.  She vocalized, making noises, but no words.   

I had lots of fun, and got some good feed back.

Edith pretending to be Fesso, in an attempt to get out of a February Funk.  (photo by Matt Pazzol)

Did you find anything great on the internet in the past week?  Share!!

this weeks menu

I haven't done a menu in a while, and it shows in what we are eating. 
Not having dinners planned kinda sucks!  Esp when I've got a lot of evening things planned.

Monday:  zucchini lasagna.  My regular Lasagna, but with grilled, thinly sliced (on a mandolin) zucchini for noodles!
Tuesday:  leftovers!
Wednesday:  Sausage stew pie
Thursday:  Leftovers!
Friday, Saturday and Sunday J is away with Pickle.  I'll make something up!