I hurt. My whole body hurts right now. I think the actual miscarriage is starting. Feeling rather crampy. I have a headache from the crying. My lower back has been sore for a while now. And I'm just *tense*.
I took 2 tylonal earlier...but I don't remember what time, so I'll wait a little longer, maybe take some with dinner.
I was about to apologize.
I'm not going to. I need to get this stuff out.
I feel heavy. Half physical, and half in the '70s sense of 'that's heavy', 'cause if anything is 'heavy' this is.
I'm feeling very thankful that we got to see a midwife Tuesday. She has been very helpful. The nice thing is that now that we have been a client, even only for 2 days, we have even more priority for next time.
I'm thankful for social media. Even though I officially announced the pregnancy Tuesday (hey, we saw a midwife...it was official...), and had to tell everyone 2 days later we lost it. The feeling of love and positivity from people is helpful. And my darling Marni sent flowers. Friends are good.
There is a dinner for friends next Friday night. I would like to go. I want to surround myself with happy. I hope I'm past melt down mode by then.
My mind keeps going to adoption. I'm scared I won't be able to carry full term. The radiologist found something odd (I don't know what...I'll find out Monday when I see the obstretition), so I worry. We've go a history, on all sides of adoption, so the thought sits well with me.
I'm sure I'll have some more random thoughts later. Thanks for listening if you are.