once again...I have no stucture.

I can't seem to keep structure in my life.

Paleo went down the tubes.  I'm getting back on track now. 
I never ever did my chore list.  ever.  I don't think I even got through a week.
My morning to do is on the fridge...not motivating me.  Not getting done.

Our apartment is a gigantic mess.
And I haven't baked in weeks (partly due to the heat...)
I haven't been to the Y in several months.  

I have no structure here.  How do I expect people (who don't know and like me) to stick around when I blog once a week about...???

So?  what am I going to do about it? 

I HAVE NO FLAPPING CLUE.

I'm really even feeling like I'm complaining about this.  It's just a Fact.

I wanted to get the heck organised and in better shape before we start trying again.  I had 6 months.  I allowed myself some time for mourning. 
Maybe it just took me 6 months to mourn?

But regardless of that, this seems to be a trend.  You can pat me on the head and say it's ok to take 6 months.  Alas, some of that would just be an excuse. 

I've taken 6 months away from photography.  I have no motivation since the miscarriage.  NONE.  I've *just* started to 'see' again.  (I didn't take a single shot at Mooseman)

I suppose the first step is recognising.  and heck, didn't it take me over a year last time?  so, from April to now is a step up.

heh.

Plan of attack

I start back to work in a week and 2 days.  This after being off for 6 months.  I have NO idea if I will ever update this blog again! 

I *do* have a plan of attack regarding my week days.  There are several things I want to be doing in the mornings, before I have to be at work at 7:30.
1.  Oil pulling.  That takes 20 minutes
2.  Drinking 3 cups of hot water to help keep my digestive system happy. 
3.  Morning pages.  I haven't started this yet...not sure how long it will take!
4. eat!  and that means *make* breakfast.
5.  yoga/exercise.  My knees and shoulders have been bugging me.  I need to strengthen them.
6.  meditate

Then I have to get dressed and go!
My plan is to make lunch the night before.

When I come home in the evening I used to just shower make dinner and slump.  that needs to change too.

I want to add tidying the living room and kitchen to my evenings so they don't get out of hand.  J had been doing the kitchen when he was off work because of his back, but I took over when he was back at school and I was off.  I might be able to convince him to take the kitchen over again (I hope I hope)  But the point is to keep things tidy so it's not such a pain on the weekends.

My time line:

5:30 am-6:30 am:
Oil pull and drink water.  while I'm doing that I do my morning pages and make breakfast. 
I eat breakfast.
6:30-6:45- meditate
6:45-7:15 - exercise

get dressed and GO.

Work 7:30-5:30(ish)

20 minutes - shower (where you wondering when I was going to bathe?  I shower after work)
One hour- make dinner
20 minutes-30 minutes- Eat.  at the table, no t.v.  (HA!  this is a challenge.  J likes to eat with the tv on.  I want to get into the habit of no tv for when we have kids)
Relax until 8 pm  some days that might be short, some days longer.
8pm-9pm tidy, make lunches, get clothes ready for next day.

Now, I have 2 days I won't be home in the evenings.  Tuesdays is a meditation night, and hooping.  I plan on alternating.  Thursdays is circus conditioning.  Both those nights I won't get home until after my bed time (9:30).  I guess I will make lunch and put out clothes in the 'relax' spot. 

I plan on starting this tomorrow.  (yes!  on a SUNDAY)  Jason get's up at 5:30 right now for clinic duty.  That means I have from 7:30-5:30 all week to get everything done I want to get done that I had *planned* on getting done in the last 6 months.  HA!  I'll take those tasks 25 minutes at a time.

the plan

Now that the holidays and craziness are over, I need a plan of action.  Otherwise I'd be on the Internet/knitting/reading all day.  I can't turn into a lump pudding.
My grand plan includes:

• Not getting up at 10:30am anymore.  It makes my head grainy.  So I'll be getting up at 8am.
• doing yoga EVERY MORNING, except Saturdays, thats when I work at the cafe.
• doing a cleanse.  I'm going to cut out most meats and dairy...maybe eggs?  for a couple weeks.  I have IBS, and all the rich foods/wheat during the holidays has my tummy upset.  Brown rice and veggies.  and homemade soup!  (oh, theres a good tutorial...kitchen sink soup), and *lots* of water and herbal teas.
• Study plants.  I got 100% in my plant ID class last winter...but I don't remember a single thing!!  (you remember the Latin names of 12 weeks of 13 plants a week!!)
• visiting friends.  I have a friend with a new baby, and her husband has to work.  she's got some major food restrictions, so she can't do fast foods easily.  I want to bring her food!  and just friends in general.
• Hooping and circus conditioning classes once a week.  I take my hooping class with my friend Sadie, and the circus conditioning with my friend Kalen at the Centre of Gravity.  I promised my boss I'd get in shape for this next season, and J and I will be trying for a baby this spring...I want to be in shape for that too!

and that's what I can think of now.  That along with a stitch and bitch group I'm trying to get organised, and some performances I'm doing (more later) I'll be busy.  Thank goodness, 'cause, I was starting to get bored!