all alone

J is away once or 2ce a month with Pickle.  A whole weekend to myself.

I like being alone, and not having to do anything or think of anyone but myself. 
Case in point.  I completely waisted about $20 on junk food this weekend.  Blue cheese, pate, ice cream, multi grain smoked cheddar crisps, cereal.  Food J either doesn't like, or food I don't want to share. (see...re my last post...I'm not pointing the finger at others with out seeing my own 'faults' too!!  when I came home I felt SO guilty for spending that money on non necessities, allowing myself to not care, giving into "this food will make me feel good", and not wanting to share.  So I accepted it, and ate the ice cream in 2 days)

Don't get me wrong.  I love J very very much, and he still makes me smile when he walks in the door.  I won't be getting rid of him any time...ever.

But that solitude.  SO GOOD.  I'm not even doing anything productive with it.  Indulging in the solitude.

I guess that's all I wanted to say.  I like being alone.  And I'll have to make sure it's built into my month once Pickle grows too old for visits, and we have kids together.  I read about strangers (on blogs) and watch friends going mad not having time alone.  I know I'll have to make date night/day/weekend with my self in order to stay sane.  I can't feel guilty about that, because a sane wife/mommy is a happy wife/mommy/ME.

Bliss. A Good Day.

I'm having a good day.  I'm letting myself relax.  Not that I've exactly been busy or anything.  I had some knitting I wanted to finish, and the sun was shining just right on my chair.  So I finished up my chapter in "The Feel Good Handbook" (I'll write about it later), made myself another cafe au lait, and finished my cowl...all while listening to a CBC3 podcast.  Oh BLISS. 

This is the first thing I've knit, for myself, from a pattern.  I didn't even cheat and cut corners like I usually do.  Feels good.

I still have to block it so it doesn't curl as much, but here it is!

Wrapped 3 times around. 

wrapped twice

Now, I'm going to get some work done.  And then...go for a walk.  This is one of the first real spring days this year.

Good Day.