motivation

How do you get motivated?

what makes you GO!

I generally wait for inspiration.


or make big plans, and lists that I promptly ignore and then forget about.


*shrug*

I think the main thing about motivation -  
It doesn't actually exist and you have to force yourself to do things that require effort until they become habit, or doesn't require effort anymore...and once 'it' doesn't require effort, it's time for something new.

?

I dunno.  All I know is I haven't exercised in ages.  I'm at the point of forcing myself.

URG.


Anyone have any tips for motivation...that actually work?



ps.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything!

once again...I have no stucture.

I can't seem to keep structure in my life.

Paleo went down the tubes.  I'm getting back on track now. 
I never ever did my chore list.  ever.  I don't think I even got through a week.
My morning to do is on the fridge...not motivating me.  Not getting done.

Our apartment is a gigantic mess.
And I haven't baked in weeks (partly due to the heat...)
I haven't been to the Y in several months.  

I have no structure here.  How do I expect people (who don't know and like me) to stick around when I blog once a week about...???

So?  what am I going to do about it? 

I HAVE NO FLAPPING CLUE.

I'm really even feeling like I'm complaining about this.  It's just a Fact.

I wanted to get the heck organised and in better shape before we start trying again.  I had 6 months.  I allowed myself some time for mourning. 
Maybe it just took me 6 months to mourn?

But regardless of that, this seems to be a trend.  You can pat me on the head and say it's ok to take 6 months.  Alas, some of that would just be an excuse. 

I've taken 6 months away from photography.  I have no motivation since the miscarriage.  NONE.  I've *just* started to 'see' again.  (I didn't take a single shot at Mooseman)

I suppose the first step is recognising.  and heck, didn't it take me over a year last time?  so, from April to now is a step up.

heh.

getting healthy (again...more?)

So it's been almost 3 weeks on paleo.  I know I need to eat more.  I don't want to starve myself!  so more veggies at every meal!  UGH.  I'm not a big veg fan.  I did re discover I like raw peas yesterday.  I'm going to try chard again.  And there is a purple cabbage in the fridge. 

I did have a customer comment on my mood and weight loss.  It was part embarrassing and part confirming.  Did I talk about PMS in the last post?   ZILCH.  I think two more cycles will confirm if it was a fluke or because of the diet.

My sister (the holistic nutritionist) was talking about sugar and inflammation, and how carbs and starch turn into sugar that triggers inflammation, and since that is my main issue, I'm pleased that I am doing this.  I still have pain sometimes, but it's much less. 

I did a detox yoga today, and will *try* to do it a few times a week to help with getting rid of the crud in my body.

I again started 100 pushups and 200 'situps'.  I am SO weak.  I could barely do one knee push up.  I'll be keeping a log here to keep track.  Maybe on a different page. 

So, back at it.  And back at the chore list!  sheesh.  I'm so bad at keeping on track.  BUT  I *think* this diet is beginning to help with motivation...but part of it is habit, so we'll see.

exercise: is that why I feel so good?

So, I went to the Y 2 days in a row.  I feel, mentally SO GOOD.  Physically.  SORE.  But mostly in that good way.  With my new plan of action, and my commitment to my daily chores, getting to the Y 3-4 days a week is very important to me.  I remember why now. 
I feel good. 

I was starting to wonder if it was hormonal...and it might be a factor, but after sitting at home for 3 days sick, getting out and moving felt so good.  Working out and grimacing though shaky abs and sweat in your eyes suck, but the after effect is great. 

Like The Bloggess says, DEPRESSION IS A LYING BASTARD (I always add "and anxiety!").  I so get that when you are in the middle of it it's hard to stop and say, oh, right, depression/anxiety lie! and hit the gym.  But maybe just maybe you trust someone enough to have them drag you out for a walk/run/bike ride/yoga/Zumba!.  I'd suggest making a plan.  Plan with someone when you aren't in the middle of it.  Plan something you know you like, something that is not new.  Also plan this with someone who will not get angry at you when you tell them to fuck off.

I know this doesn't cure mental illness, but the effects of exercise help deal with it better.  All those good chemicals released into your brain, feeling stronger, and looking fitter.  Feeling flabby and weak makes me, well, feel flabby and weak.  I like looking and feeling strong.  (and those two handfuls at the back of my thighs don't help either as much as I hate to admit it)

I've been working on my defensive attitude, esp. in regards to J, because he sees and interacts with me most, I need to remember he's on my side, and when he tells me it's time to get to the Y, he's just trying to help.

The second motive for getting to the Y 3-4 times a week is to actually be in good shape for Project makeBaby 2.0, I slagged off last time, and I'm glad to have another chance to be healthy.
Ka, can't get away from it, so I may as well not fight it.

A quickie

A quick little post to say
1.  the laptop is being repaired, so I have a lot less computer time since we're sharing again. 
2.  I joined the YMCA and am EXERCISING!  that is taking some time away too.  But boy does it make me feel good.
and
3.  I got fired.  I'm done talking about it.  It was on the sketchy side, I can't do anything about it because I wasn't there for 3 months.  I feel sad for the people involved (including my self)  but I'm not overly angry, and I'm not overly upset.  It just SUPER sucks to have to look for a job again.

I'll be back again once my laptop is back.  I'm still here!

getting fit!

I'm rather squishy. 
I'm fairly thin, just squishy!

I would like to get in a routine before baby making time so I can safely continue to exercise after I'm pregnant.  ya.   I'm running out of time!

I started this and this. 

I'm on the bottom terr for push ups.  I couldn't do ONE 'good form' push up.  I can however now do 5 knee push ups.  just finished week one.

I can, however, do squats.  I'm on the top terr for that!!  woo hoo!  but I lack stamina.  So although during the initial test I could do 40, doing 5 sets of 13-20 is hard...

I'm still hooping with Sadie.  I'm feeling pretty challenged!  I've added another challenge, in that I want to add hooping to my clown turn...what!?  oh, I have a clown character...she only has one turn ('turn' is what clowns call an act/routine).  the challenge is that I'm performing at Lunacy Cabaret on Feb. 19...buhbuhbuh!

I had planned on starting circus conditioning with Kalen...but I started a meditation night with a friend. Gotta exercise the mind too!!

On top of that, I'm doing yoga podcasts a few days a week.  Trying on Tuesdays and Thursdays, my off days for the push ups and squats, and today, I did it all! 

And I feel GREAT.  The big challenge will be to continue when I start work in the spring!  eeee!