just a few pictures from the weekend

long, over due.

It's Boxing day.  I can't sleep.  Bunny is going to get up in 3-4 hours.  I've slept 4.

Let's do an update.  Lionel is now 11 month old.  Last update was 8 months!  We've got some catching up to do!!

October:

I did NOT enjoy 8 moths old!  immobile, curious, teething.  I called Bunny a crankenstien and a wiener multiple times on facebook!
Nursing became more of an exhibitionist sport.  Bunny is very distractable.  Luckily he doesn't stay latched on!  No elastiboob for me!
We moved up to the extra large diaper covers for night time double diapers.  32+Lbs.  the large size go to 36Lbs.  In Oct. he was 30+Lbs
Bunny was sort of trying to be more mobile.  He could push himself backwards while on his tummy, but he always got caught on table and hair legs and would get really annoyed!
Bunny started consistently signing "milk"  or "mommy milk" as we call it.
He started biting me.  Not just while nursing.  I suspected it was because he was bored.
I started trying to get Bunny *back* to sleep without nursing.  Had some success mid October.
Bunny started noticing when Dada leaves.  He's whimper some when he goes out.  this escalated into when ever Anyone leaves.  Funny guy.  People are impermanent.  He never cried for long, but he certainly noticed!!
By the end of October I had emptied our bin of clothes given us!  He is in 18-24 month clothes. 

November:

Sleeping is weird.  There are some nights he wont let me unlatch, even though he is sound asleep.  What a pain in my hip.
Bunny started using the sigh for 'milk' for everything.  We sign 'milk', 'all done', 'more', 'eat'.  I can see on his face he knows there is a 'right' thing to do, then I can almost see a mental shrug when he does 'milk' with both hands for 'all done'.
I am embarrassed to say I hit my breaking point with the nipple biting and I yelled very forcefully at Bunny.  As sad as it made me too loose it, he stopped biting. 
We both got really sick in November.  First with a bad head cold that knocked us right out, then a few weeks later we got the flu.  We where at Oma's for the majority of the bad cold, so that was nice to have someone take care of me!  (like only a mommy can)
Bunny started playing peek-a-boo at Oma's.  SO fun!
We went for a visit to Presquile and Grandpa Tai and Nana.

December:

Lionel had been a bit of a grump.  Turns out it was a brain growth spurt.  He started mimicing facial expressions.  He closes his eyes and opens his mouth (like when I smile big or laugh at him) and he sticks his tongue out when we do.
His mobility has been very slowly improving.  By early December Bunny was doing an unconscious bum scoot.  He had no intention with it, but he got around.  If I put a toy out of reach he got upset, not realizing he could get there.
Clapping!!  so adorable when he claps!
Bunny figured out he can pull my shirt down and fish around for his own mommy milk.  Lovely.
Lionel started to more clearly sign 'more' and 'all done'.  'More' looks like clapping, and 'all done' looks like 'milk' with both hands, but he's getting there!
Lionel stared saying dada in association with Dada, and now he says "tickle tickle", or rather "tchcka tchcka" and tickles his own ribs.  His peek-a-boo has improved significantly!
Jason had got some coffee in a big tin.  when that was done he cleaned it out and gave it to Lionel for a drum.  He LOVES it.

We weighed him yesterday and he's 34 Lbs.  He was 32 a my moms the second week in November, so he's only gained a half a pound a week now.  I'm thankful for that!
Turns out this Bunny is afraid of cats!  We where at Mink's house and he cried every time he saw them.  And then at MILs house, she had a ceramic cat, and he pointed at it and cried!

Bunny hates to stand.  Hate hate hates it.  He'll walk eventually!
He loves music and as soon as he hears it he starts to dance.
He hit's himself in the head, or bonks his head on objects gently.  Learning where his body ends I suppose.
He's started putting things in things.  We got a shape sorter and I'm excited to teach him that.
His mobility now has intention.  He's doing a one legged crawl/bum scoot.  We'll be baby proofing when we get back from Oma's!!

We need to get rid of the exersaucer.  I think it's delayed his development some.  I'm not concerned, and we'll miss having it around for sure.  We need a rocking horse or something.

I'm still wearing him, and I owe a post about babywearing!  I took a babywearing educators course and am excited about passing on info!


So far the holidays have been pain free!  one more, and it's my mom's family.  We've never had drama.  I think this has been the easiest Christmas ever.  We haven't got too much stuff.  Im thankful for that.  Photo post up next!

photo shoot

For my birthday I bought myself a photo shoot.  My friend Shelley Marshal  and her Full Bawdy photographer Rebecca O'Rourke put together a few afternoons of empowering pinup photo shoots the the Full Bawdy Loft.

My first thought was that I needed to get pretty.  Bunny was just over 6 months old, and I was feeling frumpy.  I figured I'd bring Bunny and one of the women would be happy to watch him while I got shot.  Then I thought, why not use him in the shots. 

I decided to do a breastfeeding pinup.

My figuring was that pinups are often 'accidentally' sexy.  A hiked skirt, being walked in on while getting dressed...So 'accidentally' sexy while flashing a little boob while nursing isn't too far off the mark.  Shelley loved the idea.
I also felt that it was appropriate to be proud of, and document this part of my journey.  I knew the photos wouldn't get sleezy.  That's not what I wanted.  And it's not what we got. 

Here are the results of my pinup photo shoot!

Shelley did a shoot with Bunny while I got my makeup done!

surmising

I think I have it all figured out.  After all, I have a 7+ month old...

ha ha.

But I have my theories. 

On sleep:
We* haven't bothered with sleep training.  Mostly 'cause I don't want to make Bunny cry.  Yes, make.  Cause as the adult, allowing my baby to cry is on me, not on him!  (there is research about brain changes and CIO, so I don't want to go there) 
This is something I've been thinking about.  It would be easier in these early months to have him nap and sleep on his own.

I'm glad I didn't.
1. because I would have missed all the cuddles
2. at 7+ months he is learning on his own to settle without nursing.

I've had several triumphant moments these past few days!  putting him down after nursing him to sleep has become possible, as well as settling him down by rubbing and patting his chest.  I've also got him to sleep by rocking and singing after picking him up prematurely from a nap, and he's still tired.

On food:
I've decided baby lead weaning is dumb! not for us.  I do not understand how it works.  Here kid, this is a slippery banana/apple/watermelon hunk.  now loose your grip and choke on it.  Maybe I was doing it wrong?  I love the idea of Bunny exploring his food once he know what to do with it once it's in his mouth...


On parenting books:
Male Dr.s need to speak to A LOT of women before writing books about birth and motherhood.  I tried to read Touchpoints by Brazelton (as much as I like his name lol).  What a pompous ass.



*I say we, but I think J just lets me do what I want lol.
**I understand you have reasons for needing to sleep train.

7 months!

Time seems to be going much faster!!

Bunny had his 6 month checkup.  He was 26.5 Lbs!  and 28 inches.
 Dr. thinks he has a bit of a tongue tie.  That's why he's a gag machine. 

He's happy eating.  We're just at super soft stuff.  He likes to suck on peaches and plums.  He will dive right on them!!
I'm loving giving him in season fruits!  here are a few peach faces!

Dressed like me in the 90's

We went to the beach.  It was nice, but I wouldn't recommend the beach in the first year.  no one wants sandy poop.

We went to my mom's for the family pig roast.  It was a really nice time!
Lionel is a people person.

singing with Oma

With Auntie S.

Auntie J.

Cousin once removed

Auntie K.

The 80+ Lb pig

Oma come back to the city with us.

Dada came with us and hung out with Bunny while I gardened.  Bunny likes his rice cereal!

This is a chair my dad brought back from Cuba

Baby group picnic

in the end, 5/7 babies cried.  While we laughed and took pictures.

Bunny is very secure with his sitting now.  Occasionally he tips over when he looks around at something.  He's flipping from front to back, but not the other way.  He's moving objects from one hand to the other.  No interest in standing or crawling. 

This chair was my Aunt Vicky's.  She passed away when I was 3 or 4.

Sleeping arrangements

We've been co-sleeping, or more aptly, bed sharing, as some people call sharing a room co-sleeping too.

In principle, and in general, I love it.
My body on the other hand does not.

I really like not getting out of bed to feed Bunny when he wakes up to eat.  We had a bedside co-sleeper I found useless because I still had to rouse myself from sleep to get him.  And stay away until he was deep asleep to move him back.  What was the point of that??

I like smelling him, and feeling his (not so) little body.

Lately he's been waking up every time I move.  So I've been sleeping on one side all night.
He's nursing for comfort, because I move and wake him up.  He still wakes up once in the early morning for hunger.


SO, I'm going to slowly start transitioning him into his own bed.  And I mean slowly.
We don't even have his bed set up.

I figure we'll try it this way:

- Hang out on his bed.  Have a couple small soft toys that are bed toys.  I've seen it suggested that we sleep with his sheets before hand to make it smell like us.
- Start to put him down for naps. 
Right now we nurse to sleep, and most times he just stays in my arms, or we nurse laying down.  He wakes up when I try and move him.  I might have a tired Bunny for a few days!
- Continue to bed share until I'm feeling like it's time.  When will I have enough!?
- Start putting him in his bed at night, have Dada comfort him when he wakes.  Determine when to nurse.
-Eventually full on night weaning, with Dada being the bed time guy.  In the mean time, involve Dada more.

This plan might take days or months. 

We are not doing CIO. 

something has been bugging me

I've got a bee in my bonnet.
A bone to pick.
A beef.

I was talking to a pregnant friend the other day.  People had been chastising her for not asking for help.  I mentioned that she needs to get used to asking 'cause people don't follow through when they say they will once the baby is born.

I had immediate family come visit and help for a little bit.  

I had one friend come. 
One, once.

It took about 4 months for me to feel settled into my new roll. 
That was 4 months of feeling overwhelmed at one point or another during the day. 
I was (am) so blessed to have a pretty happy baby who napped and ate well.  With virtually no support I'm not sure how I would have coped if he wasn't.  Or if I had the baby blues, or worse, PPD.

I asked generally on facebook for help.  I didn't want to single out anyone.

What bugged me was that while pregnant people where SO excited.  It seemed sometimes more excited than me!  I thought that meant they where going to come help.

When J wasn't working I got to have a bath.  Cook dinner with out concern about burning it.
J has a pretty high stress job.  He helped a lot.  He was the one cleaning the house.  He was official Diaper Changer.

Obviously I got though those 4 months.  Things could have been better.  Things could have been WAY worse.


I am imploring you.  Have a friend who is going to have a baby? Go visit. Go give them company.  She will likely be a little brain dead, and not a great conversationalist, but adult company will be great!  Sweep the floor, do the dishes, bring food, hold the baby while she has a shower.  All of those would be amazing, one a blessing.
No need to stay for 5 hours (she likely doesn't want you there for 5 hours). 
Also:  visit after that first month!  She still has a baby, and dirty dishes.  She still needs to eat and bathe, and talk to another adult!

We still need our village.

Oh, and 6 months in, although I'm feeling overwhelmed a lot less frequently, I'm finding myself needing a break.  A break from being on all day and night.  A friend is coming over for a bit this morning to watch Lionel while I sit in a cafe and read a book.  What?  Yea, I could be cleaning the house, reorganizing the bedroom etc. etc.  Instead, I'm taking a much needed mental break. 

milestone week!!

We've had a jam packed week!

Lionel turned 6 months, and all of a sudden he:  can sit up on his own, roll over (front to back) and  has a tooth!!

isn't he lovely!!

Teething hasn't been too bad.  We have an amber teething necklace that he's had on since 2 months.  We use Hylands teething gel, and Boiorn homeopathic Camilla when he gets fussy.  We've had some wakeful nights.  But all in all Bunny is a pretty happy dude!!

We tried him on solid food on my birthday, and since, but his gag reflex is very ... good?  He gags so hard he throws up, so we're holding off for now. I bought some rice cereal, fortified with iron (and other stuff) that I'll mix with breast milk.  At 6 months babies iron stores start to get used up, so we need to get some from the outside.  I'm not concerned yet, but he does need to learn how to eat eventually.  Rice is supposed to be the easiest to digest.
I had grand plans of not feeding cereal, and doing 'baby lead weaning/feeding'.  Basically you allow your baby to feed themselves, super soft foods first.  This allows them to go at their own pace, touch and enjoy on their own.  We'll get there.

banana!

*edit*

feeling in Bunny's mouth it feels like tooth #2 is well on it's way.  Today Lionel is being clingy, and is wanting to nurse and rest with me.

update!! um, this is long.

It's been so long for an update I didn't think I could remember any thing!  So I went to Facebook, and my status' from the last months.  Copy and pasted a few, and wrote down the interesting stuff that's been going on with LeoB.

I'll try to make it flow!

End of April:
I thought Bunny was teething.  He was a little grumpy, and was cluster feeding.  No tooth yet though!
I commented on his giggles.  They where a bit coming, but worth the wait!


A status update from the end of April, just over 3 months post partum:

" Seems as though I am suffering with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction [pain in the pelvis, where the ligaments hold it together, usually associated during pregnancy]. Postpartum!! I had no pubic/pelvic pain during my pregnancy, just my luck to develop it now (well, weeks ago) that I have an 18Lb baby (causation or correlation??) Anyone have a good solution? Looking at Dr. Internet for exercises. Dr. Internet says physio, but we really can't afford to see anyone. It really only hurts at night, and (strangely enough?) my pubic area hurts more when I nurse (is my uterus still contracting? :. pulling ligaments and such!?) le sigh."

It still hurts a tiny bit if I move a certain way, but doing yoga seems to have helped.

Early May:

Lionel has a clock in his tummy. Every 2 hours on the dot. There is no distracting him, or putting it off. Only occasionally will he sleep though a feeding time!  Back at 3 months, and still now at 5.  He does stretch it out sometimes...and sometimes it's sooner.

I tried back wearing in mei tai.  Found out after he was still too young.  I did get dishes done, and I made a cake!!

Bunny also moved up diaper size!  Not a big thing with disposables, but the service we use has infant and toddler.  At just over 3 months Bunny was in toddler diapers!  Granted, they start at 18Lbs.  He also moved to 6 month clothes.

There are no words that can describe hoe happy I was when spring finally arrived!!

look!  things are finally growing!!  late April

Jason planned on making flying fish for our moms and me for mothers day, but he had to work, so I went to kensington market for him.  I breastfed outside for the first time in a park!

milky face!

mothers day flowers from my MIL and Jason

I got what I wanted for mother's day. A long bath!!

Mid May:
Bunny fell asleep in the swing. It had been weeks since he'd fallen asleep on his own.  I think that was the last time he fell asleep in the swing.
And now he never falls asleep on his own.  And that's fine, and normal, and not a sleep problem.

Another status update quote:
"holy crap spring! Sparrow in the magnolia tree, violets!, daffodils, tulips, grass!"

Remember.  That was mid May! A very very slow start!!

This was so good!

I had a weird mommy moment:
"Bunny was whining, and standing up (heavily supported by me). For some reason at that moment I found it (cruelly?) hilarious, and started laughing, manically. Right out loud, laugh till you cry, laughing. This first startled him, then he smiled and "heh'd" with me, then, of course, I couldn't stop and he looked rather concerned. I need a break. Being on 24/7 is tiring, and apparently crazy making."
J is a big help, but being a mom is so different!  It's draining.  It's why all I wanted for mothers day was a looooong bath.

I went to the International Circus Festival on May 18th.  Mostly 'cause I was feeling stir crazy!  It was nice to see friends.  (I had come to the conclusion that no one was going to visit me)

I nursed on the subway! Bunny was his typical serious dude with all the new people. Allowed me to put him back in the stroller both times with no fuss.  He had started to hate being put in the stroller! A wee melt down on the bus home (every time we stopped moving) The bus was a little busy with different wheeled items, so I had to put the stroller in front of a woman. I smiled at her and told her to make sure she tells me before she needed to get off. She said, very seriously "Oh, I will.". When Bunny started to cry I had to lean over her a little bit (not even touching...) then she said "excuse me" so I moved the stroller away, and she takes off her shoe, and puts powder in it.  I could no believe it.  My poor crying Bunny and she decided to powder her shoe!!   I really dislike bringing the stroller on the TTC (transit), so I was so excited to buy my first woven wrap!  I had been using a stretchy wrap, but Bunny was getting to heavy for it.  He was starting to sag.  No good! So nice!!  So supportive and soft.  My first time, and the top is a little loose.

I've since bought another!  I could go on and on about woven wraps, but I'll save it for another post!

Since spring arrived I've become a 'beaches mom'. (a mom who goes to coffee shops daily, and is ridiculed behind her back by the staff for being spoiled) I understand now. get. out. of. the. house. But one needs a destination.  I go to Savoury Grounds Coffee Co. for my daily almond chai fix. Such spicy goodness!!

I was a little cheesed on May 2-4 weekend.  New mothers everywhere (uh, in Canada) cursing Victoria and the fire crackers.


And it's official. If it wasn't clear before, it sure is right now. One day I came to the conclusion:  I was wearing my baby, in berkinstocks, eating homemade granola with goat yogourt, no deodorant on. I'm a dirty hippy.

May 25 4 months!

We borrowed a jolly jumper from the MacDonald family.  Bunny loved it from the start!

I went to the wilds of Etobicoke to meet a bunch of moms, it was a long trip, and I breastfed on the subway. 2ce. I got one or two (shy) smiles both times, and on my way there an older woman (late 60s/early 70's) said to me "your baby is just so lucky. He's just getting so much love" I almost cried. So please, if you happen to notice someone breastfeeding in public, give them an encouraging smile, 'cause she is probably a little on edge, waiting for the snide. Saying something is even better, because other people hear it, and it makes it even more normal.

January babies.  Lionel is between twins on the right...he's big, but looks even bigger next to them!

 My friend Sadie put on a movement workshop that I wanted to attend, so I asked if I could wear Bunny.  She said yes, so I wrapped him up and we danced away!  I wore him for almost 2 hours at the workshop, as well as on transit!  I love baby wearing!!

I've been gardening once a week, and leaving Bunny with Dada or Sister S.  One day poor Bunny had a melt down while I was out gardening. Poor Dada doesn't have boobs to sooth. That was the longest half hour getting home ever. He cried himself to sleep, and now got a hoarse voice.He had taken a bottle from Sister S the week before, and hasn't since!  I'd like to try cup feeding.  We'll be starting solids soon too.  Maybe Breast milk from a cup and some sweet potato would do the trick!

We had a good 4 moth well baby Dr. visit. Maybe my doctor is bi polar or something, 'cause she was a different Dr. today! thrilled that I am still exclusively breast feeding, and that Bunny is 20 Lbs 4 oz. 25.5 inches long. she told me to ignore the percentiles! To keep doing what I was doing. *phew*

June

I wore bunny in my wrap for 8 hours with a short break from Ms. Belton. I was stiff, but way less sore than I expected!!  I am love love loving my woven wrap! Mid June Bunny is in 9+mo clothes at almost 5 months!  It's hard not to worry he's too big, but he's not fat.  His chubby like a baby should be, and looooong.  He'll be tall like J, Pickle and most of the rest of my family. We went up to Tottenham the weekend of J's birthday to celebrate with Grandpa W.  A lot of J's family where there for the weekend too.  I had been feeling anxious about going for a whole weekend.  They like to party, and this was for a big party for Grandpa W and his father in law.  Bunny and I came 'home' early from the party.  Everyone else got back at 4 am.  I awoke at 6 am in between two farty boys, in a house full of sleeping people. for breakfast I ate 85% chocolate and gluten free pretzels and watched Orphan Black. I couldn't really get up as people where sleeping everywhere. So, Bunny and I made the 20 minute walk to Tim Horton's for something to do once he woke up.  In a small town everyone drives, so people where thoroughly shoked that I walked 'all that way'. We survived that weekend very very well! Bunny was agreeable, family was great. My tummy on the other hand...too much junk. Bunny started stretching out time between a few of his feedings.  He's generally hungry after about 2 hours.  Like clockwork most days! We went to our midwife clinic picnic.  It was a little odd, 'cause naturally we only knew our midwives!  We put Bunny in his sash and moccasins.  The midwife clinic is an aboriginal centred clinic, so we thought that Bunny should represent his Metis heritage. Lionel was sitting up by himself some.  Pretty woobly, very cute. While attempting to nurse Bunny to sleep after a skipped nap I finally gave up on him sleeping. I got up and he gave me this smile, as if to say "heh. I got boobie and I didn't sleep. I win." Then he proceeded to throwup EVERYTHING. Then gave me the same grin. I tell you, they are cute for a reason. A note to my dear boy:   dear Bunny. 6 am is not the appropriate time to wake up when you went to sleep at 10. 'They' tell me babies your age sleep 10-12 hours at night with 2-3 wake ups. Not 8 hours on the nose with wake ups every 2 hours...on the nose. Please follow the rules. love your *yawn* mother. Really, he generally goes to bed around 7pm and wakes up at 5am.  Yes, that means I go to bed by 9!! We've been co-sleeping from the start, and it's been pretty good.  I think I get more sleep that I would if he where in his own bed since I don't have to get up when Bunny wants to eat.  We're pretty happy, esp. in our king sized bed! July I used to to wrap Bunny to a chair at a friends so I could eat with both hands! I'm sure I'm not the first person to do this, but YAY! July 7 my 5 month old is in 12 month clothes... The other day I called his name, and he spun around (in his exersacuer) with a huge grin on his face. He is so so so close to sitting on his own.  He still falls backwards some! We went to the grocery store and he sat in the cart!!

nature vs. nurture

I only have one kid.  I have no idea if what I'm doing is working, or if it's because of the kid I have.

I try not to feel smug when I talk about LeoB sleeping at night.  Yes, he wakes up every 2 hours, but we're co-sleeping, so he just has to butt his head against me and I pop a boob in his mouth, so we're pretty well rested.  He doesn't have to wake up to get my attention. 

Is that because I'm doing it right?  It's right 'cause it works for me...but would it work for everyone?
Does it work because of who LeoB is?

Oh the questions!

4 month update soon!  Long past due!

harder!

It's getting harder and harder to post anything of substance.

LeoB has decided to be an attachment child.  Ha ha.  I'm jokingly referring to the style of parenting called Attachment Parenting.  I might be parenting this way by accident.

Mr. pretty much won't let me put him down, or let me sit down for long.  I'm not actually following a style of parenting, but following my gut, and my gut tells me not to let him get too upset at this stage in his life.

I mean, I let him fuss for a bit on his own, you know, while I eat, or pee.  Sometimes he starts to amuse himself.  Once he starts actually getting upset I pick him up and cuddle him.  We don't allow 'cry it out' (yet??). 

So yea.  I'm a little busy and beat.

it's taken me like, 24 hours to write this post!

tata for now!

3 months!!

LeoB is now 17 Lbs!!  and busting out of 6 month clothes!!
I was starting to wonder if it was possible I was feeding too much, but according to this article it's not.  Also, all the weight/age stats are for bottle fed babies, not breast fed babies, and that makes a difference.  Bottle fed babies have a steady increase, where breastfed (specifically 'on demand') babies gain lots in the first 3 or 4 months, then plateau.  Often bottle fed babies actually get bigger than breast fed in the end.

LeoB is now singing along when we sing to him.

He also joins in conversations.  He makes his vocalizations when other people are talking.  He's started to talk to his toys, alone, too!

He's definitely teething.  Jason dubbed him Crankenstien.  We're using an amber necklace, and homeopathic remedies so far.  They seem to calm him quite a bit.  No baby Tylonal yet.  I can feel a bump, bottom front and centre!  A drooly guy!

He's SO close to sitting up with no assistance.  We have a Bumbo seat that he seems to like, although he looks pretty darned funny in it.

He's figured out grabbing, but hasn't quite figured out hand mouth coordination yet. He's not able to hold on to much either, so he's not able to hold anything to help with teething.

holding Dada's hand

shadows on a walk

fattie!

cuddles

a preferred sleeping position

sitting up

playing with Dada

baby burrito

holding Mommy's hand

tasting the wind

enjoying the Bumbo

sleeping with his water buffalo

Getting a bottle from Dada (I went to work!)

he makes this face when he's concentrating (not pooping!)

Mommy and LeoB cuddling after Easter

Yes, it's a breast!  Love feeding my guy!

cuddling Sophie

(thee months photo to come!  Mr. napped the afternoon away and we didn't take the photos.  Today we're going to a meet and greet baby shower with my dads side of the family.  so tomorrow!)