That's 4 months to you!
I've been *terrible* at photos. I'll take one today though. I took one at about 3 months. The comparison will be nice!
Nothing much has changed.
I have indeed got a little motivation back. Still tired, but more motivated to get things done.
That might have something to do with the the fact that I lost my job. Long story short, I was not doing my job well. I was finding being nice, and productive while pregnant really hard, apparently.
I say apparently because I can sometimes be clueless. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I have trouble seeing how my actions effect others (and then therefore, myself). I was blindsided. I don't think it was handled well, and I'm perusing action. I don't expect much to come from it. I can't imagine, other than 2 weeks termination pay, I'll get anything from it. But I intend to rock the boat, just enough, for a couple higher ups to wonder what is going on.
So that has me just a little stressed out. I trust we will be fine. And even in my 'weak' moments of worry, I still believe it.
But back to Ziggy! The exciting blessing of my life (uh oh, am I sounding like a sappy parent already!?)
I have been feeling movement, very randomly, since about 12 weeks. At first it just feels like a whisper.
But for the last 3 nights I've been feeling Pokes. And last night I put my hand on my lower stomach and felt Ziggy poke my hand. I had a giggling fit (with some tears) and debated waking J, but he had to get up at 5:30am, and it was already midnight. Ironically (or whatever) I couldn't fall back to sleep and got up at 6:30.
Thank goodness for naps (and not having to work so I can nap?)
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
more posting?
Yesterdays Facebook update:
"Some upsetting news, I just got canned.
I've been struggling at work, keeping up with Starbucks customer service standards. Getting defensive, and according to complaints, rude. My Store Manager is understanding, and we have been working on it, but most people don't go to her (she's new), they go directly to the District Manager. And I guess part of the DM's job is to get rid of people who are making customers unhappy. I don't want to use it as a crutch, but these hormones are getting the better of me. My behaviour is inexcusable, but understandable?? (esp. in the entitled ass beaches?)"
So many mixed emotions. I was very unhappy, and I'm glad I don't have to go back. But...MONEY!?
I have enough hours for maternity/parental leave.
My first thought was to go get even a part time job to cover some expenses. The problem with that, is it would be *those* hours that I get for mat leave. Not a lot!
So, my next thought was E.I. The DM gave me what she considered a so very generous offer. I could take the rest of the week suspended with pay, and then quit, or 'come back' and have a meeting, where, in all reality, I would get fired (not laid off, misconduct fired).
I've decided to 'quit'. ('Cause God knows, if I wasn't pregnant, I'd be at a new job by now!)
There are 2 routes that I could take re. E.I..
I can claim I had just cause for quitting. (pregnancy stress? forced to quit?)
Or I can try and get my doctor to sign off on sick leave (stress being the reason)
If those don't pan out? I hope I can find a full time job for 4-5 months.
I have faith it will all work out.
"Some upsetting news, I just got canned.
I've been struggling at work, keeping up with Starbucks customer service standards. Getting defensive, and according to complaints, rude. My Store Manager is understanding, and we have been working on it, but most people don't go to her (she's new), they go directly to the District Manager. And I guess part of the DM's job is to get rid of people who are making customers unhappy. I don't want to use it as a crutch, but these hormones are getting the better of me. My behaviour is inexcusable, but understandable?? (esp. in the entitled ass beaches?)"
So many mixed emotions. I was very unhappy, and I'm glad I don't have to go back. But...MONEY!?
I have enough hours for maternity/parental leave.
My first thought was to go get even a part time job to cover some expenses. The problem with that, is it would be *those* hours that I get for mat leave. Not a lot!
So, my next thought was E.I. The DM gave me what she considered a so very generous offer. I could take the rest of the week suspended with pay, and then quit, or 'come back' and have a meeting, where, in all reality, I would get fired (not laid off, misconduct fired).
I've decided to 'quit'. ('Cause God knows, if I wasn't pregnant, I'd be at a new job by now!)
There are 2 routes that I could take re. E.I..
I can claim I had just cause for quitting. (pregnancy stress? forced to quit?)
Or I can try and get my doctor to sign off on sick leave (stress being the reason)
If those don't pan out? I hope I can find a full time job for 4-5 months.
I have faith it will all work out.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
dilemma in Beccaland
So. I'm cheesed at the moment.
I was passed over at Starbucks for a Shift Supervisor position. The DM (district manager) decided to strong arm my manager to promote someone else. I feel like my SM (store manager) didn't have the balls to say no, Rebecca is next.
The DM is aware I want to be a shift, and wants to promote me, but that means leaving my store, or waiting.
There are 2 maybe-sometime-there is no time line, but as early as March but not for sure possibilities to move up in my store. My SM is trying to fire someone, but it's next to impossible. And there is talk of other people being promoted, but no one knows *when*. For sure in September there is a chance, as someone is going to school and is stepping down.
SO. my dilemma.
I don't want to leave my store. Partly because I'm a creature of habit, and I don't like learning curves, and partly because moving stores as a shift means I'm more than likely stepping on someones toes who wanted to be a shift before me.
I HATE the thought of someone being upset because *they* where passed over. I don't want people to be upset at me.
Most peoples answer to that is "well, screw them!" I can't do that. If I stayed, I'd already feel guilty enough about my taking over if someone was fired.
One store that was talked about is too far to walk to. So my raise goes right to the TTC. but I'll also be getting 40 hours, as apposed to 20-30.
The other store is closer, but I'm not sure I'll like how the SM works. I feel like he's kinda sneaky.
The other factor is also an unknown. We're trying to get pregnant. I feel like the sooner the better for me to become a shift. So waiting until Sept. is out.
Do I sit on it, and hope a spot opens up soon? or do I change stores and maybe be miserable with the new SM and other staff?
I'm also trying to just let things pan out, and not push or rush anything. Like I've said before here, I believe in fate. There are decisions that need to be made, but there is a place I'm going to be. In the long run, I don't think it matters what decision I make.
But I DO need to make one. I'd like to be happy while I wait for fate to pan out. I can't just sit on my butt, I know that much.
I was passed over at Starbucks for a Shift Supervisor position. The DM (district manager) decided to strong arm my manager to promote someone else. I feel like my SM (store manager) didn't have the balls to say no, Rebecca is next.
The DM is aware I want to be a shift, and wants to promote me, but that means leaving my store, or waiting.
There are 2 maybe-sometime-there is no time line, but as early as March but not for sure possibilities to move up in my store. My SM is trying to fire someone, but it's next to impossible. And there is talk of other people being promoted, but no one knows *when*. For sure in September there is a chance, as someone is going to school and is stepping down.
SO. my dilemma.
I don't want to leave my store. Partly because I'm a creature of habit, and I don't like learning curves, and partly because moving stores as a shift means I'm more than likely stepping on someones toes who wanted to be a shift before me.
I HATE the thought of someone being upset because *they* where passed over. I don't want people to be upset at me.
Most peoples answer to that is "well, screw them!" I can't do that. If I stayed, I'd already feel guilty enough about my taking over if someone was fired.
One store that was talked about is too far to walk to. So my raise goes right to the TTC. but I'll also be getting 40 hours, as apposed to 20-30.
The other store is closer, but I'm not sure I'll like how the SM works. I feel like he's kinda sneaky.
The other factor is also an unknown. We're trying to get pregnant. I feel like the sooner the better for me to become a shift. So waiting until Sept. is out.
Do I sit on it, and hope a spot opens up soon? or do I change stores and maybe be miserable with the new SM and other staff?
I'm also trying to just let things pan out, and not push or rush anything. Like I've said before here, I believe in fate. There are decisions that need to be made, but there is a place I'm going to be. In the long run, I don't think it matters what decision I make.
But I DO need to make one. I'd like to be happy while I wait for fate to pan out. I can't just sit on my butt, I know that much.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
a kitchen sink post
1. It's been 2 weeks eating (mosly) paleo. I've had a few cheats, but I've done really really well I think.
Some things I've noticed so far: I have not crashed! As in, when I get hungry, I feel hungry, my tummy rumbles some, but I don't feel faint or shaky. I don't have to EAT RIGHT NOW. I know this because I was involved in the Toronto Festival of Clowns this weekend and didn't eat regularly. (more on that in a moment!) I have to be more organised with food, but that is coming along. There is *nothing* in a corner store that I can eat. No, wait, nuts. I can buy nuts or sunflower seeds. I haven't gone to a restaurant yet, so I don't know what that will be like. I'm sure it will be along the lines of "Can I get extra salad/veggies in place of the potatoes?"
I *think* my moods have been more stable, but this weekend was a crappy sleeping weekend, late nights, not being able to sleep in, so I'm a wee bit grumpy. I also just got my period, so there was some pms, *but* looking back to the last week, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, and I didn't get cramps. Day one is *always* crampy. AND there was very little food cravings, and when I have eaten chocolate, it was just kinda ok. My stomach pain was worse than ever, but it seems to have calmed down some. I'm giving myself a month to see how things progress. Or, let's say, to the end of June.
2. CLOWNS! I just spent the weekend with a bunch of clowns and it was rad. It's fun to dance (to a DJ) with fellow clowns (in or out of nose) because they have NO inhibitions! SO FUN. It was nice to see a few people who I met last year, and just to be in the same place more with friends. I was up late and slept little, but it was worth it.
3. There is someone I don't like. This is an awkward thing to write on a public blog, because although you may speak to friends 'in private', you don't announce to a whole room that "HEY! there is someone I don't like...and well, since I'm announcing it to *everyone* I won't tell you who it is!". Regardless, I'm going to continue on and assure you it's is not you (I think...). I find not liking this person (X) frustrating, not just because they annoy the heck out of me, but because in general they are a caring, nice, generous person. I want to yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" when X talks. So it's all me. So what the HELL can I do about it? I don't know, because X is part of the community, and as much as I try to distance myself from them, X seems to *always* be there. I feel sad for myself. I know that I'm not going to like everyone I come in contact with, but the absolute RAGE I feel when X is around astounds me.
4. J got a job! yay! he started today with an orientation. I've been working 2 jobs, and am in a bit of a conundrum as to whether I will keep them both. I don't really want to. I'm feeling pretty drained, but we still need to bring our savings back. I figure I'll stay with the gardening until the end of the season (Oct.) and pack away the $.
Some things I've noticed so far: I have not crashed! As in, when I get hungry, I feel hungry, my tummy rumbles some, but I don't feel faint or shaky. I don't have to EAT RIGHT NOW. I know this because I was involved in the Toronto Festival of Clowns this weekend and didn't eat regularly. (more on that in a moment!) I have to be more organised with food, but that is coming along. There is *nothing* in a corner store that I can eat. No, wait, nuts. I can buy nuts or sunflower seeds. I haven't gone to a restaurant yet, so I don't know what that will be like. I'm sure it will be along the lines of "Can I get extra salad/veggies in place of the potatoes?"
I *think* my moods have been more stable, but this weekend was a crappy sleeping weekend, late nights, not being able to sleep in, so I'm a wee bit grumpy. I also just got my period, so there was some pms, *but* looking back to the last week, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, and I didn't get cramps. Day one is *always* crampy. AND there was very little food cravings, and when I have eaten chocolate, it was just kinda ok. My stomach pain was worse than ever, but it seems to have calmed down some. I'm giving myself a month to see how things progress. Or, let's say, to the end of June.
2. CLOWNS! I just spent the weekend with a bunch of clowns and it was rad. It's fun to dance (to a DJ) with fellow clowns (in or out of nose) because they have NO inhibitions! SO FUN. It was nice to see a few people who I met last year, and just to be in the same place more with friends. I was up late and slept little, but it was worth it.
3. There is someone I don't like. This is an awkward thing to write on a public blog, because although you may speak to friends 'in private', you don't announce to a whole room that "HEY! there is someone I don't like...and well, since I'm announcing it to *everyone* I won't tell you who it is!". Regardless, I'm going to continue on and assure you it's is not you (I think...). I find not liking this person (X) frustrating, not just because they annoy the heck out of me, but because in general they are a caring, nice, generous person. I want to yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" when X talks. So it's all me. So what the HELL can I do about it? I don't know, because X is part of the community, and as much as I try to distance myself from them, X seems to *always* be there. I feel sad for myself. I know that I'm not going to like everyone I come in contact with, but the absolute RAGE I feel when X is around astounds me.
4. J got a job! yay! he started today with an orientation. I've been working 2 jobs, and am in a bit of a conundrum as to whether I will keep them both. I don't really want to. I'm feeling pretty drained, but we still need to bring our savings back. I figure I'll stay with the gardening until the end of the season (Oct.) and pack away the $.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I has a sad. or my first world problems.
here comes my 1/4 life crisis. or, a wave of depression...or you know, I was just laying in bed thinking.
I'm 32. I don't have a job. OK, wait. I have a job. Maybe. In the spring. But it's a job I don't want. Partly because I'm not enjoying it any more, part because the stone work is to physically hard, and *that's* what I enjoy doing. But I'm not going to wreck my body and injure myself. Part because my boss went off the deep end last season and has odd expectations off me and has no patience for when I don't meet them.
I had not planned on going back in April.
I also planned on getting pregnant so I didn't *have* to go back. But *that* so far has been a bust. *sigh*
I had what I thought was a great job. I was managing a cafe. I was organising, and getting things done, I was enjoying customer relations (something I've grown into apparently). and one day, I got fired. *BAM* out of nowhere. apparently, I was...not meeting their expectations. Now, I know you read this in the paragraph before. I've been beating myself up over this. The cafe job, there was zero communication. You say 'manager/supervisor', I do a job I think is what a 'manager/supervisor' does. They didn't give me a job description, so I was winging it. I'm more sad than anything over the situation. I mean, I'm angry too, but I'm not frothing.
So, I have no job. I can't get a gardening job over the winter. And really, I don't want to,because I don't want to lead on a potential long term employer if I'm going to get pregnant. Does that make *any* sense? I guess I'm looking at other jobs that have high turn over, like Starbucks, to work. then, I get the old brain thinking, "crappit. I'm 32. and I want to go work at *Starbucks!?*". I feel ashamed because I didn't get any ducks in a line earlier. I feel embarrassed too. Is there something wrong with me?
I keep thinking of my friend Sadie, who started a Hoop empire. She's a biophysicist for heavens sake, and she followed her heart, and started hooping, something she *loves*. I keep racking my brain. what can I do? what do I love? and I get zip.
Photography.
I'm doing it. I have a photo blog, I'm taking classes, I've got a book (YES! A BOOK!) coming out, with a show attached to that...and then? I've talked about Vivienne before. She's another who has taken a passion and made it shine. Do I have the chops for something like that? In photography? I think the best thing for me to do here is keep learning and keep walking this path. I love it so. But the way is not clear.
Horticulture.
I'm not sure I have the talent for it. I'd like to keep working on it. There was one point I wanted to do 'horticulture therapy', helping the elderly and disabled to garden more easily. I'll keep that in mind too.
But I guess what it comes down to is I'm feeling sorry for myself, and a little scared because Jason's back is not great, and I'm so scared that he won't be able to work, and there is no way we can survive on Starbucks wage.
I'm 32. I don't have a job. OK, wait. I have a job. Maybe. In the spring. But it's a job I don't want. Partly because I'm not enjoying it any more, part because the stone work is to physically hard, and *that's* what I enjoy doing. But I'm not going to wreck my body and injure myself. Part because my boss went off the deep end last season and has odd expectations off me and has no patience for when I don't meet them.
I had not planned on going back in April.
I also planned on getting pregnant so I didn't *have* to go back. But *that* so far has been a bust. *sigh*
I had what I thought was a great job. I was managing a cafe. I was organising, and getting things done, I was enjoying customer relations (something I've grown into apparently). and one day, I got fired. *BAM* out of nowhere. apparently, I was...not meeting their expectations. Now, I know you read this in the paragraph before. I've been beating myself up over this. The cafe job, there was zero communication. You say 'manager/supervisor', I do a job I think is what a 'manager/supervisor' does. They didn't give me a job description, so I was winging it. I'm more sad than anything over the situation. I mean, I'm angry too, but I'm not frothing.
So, I have no job. I can't get a gardening job over the winter. And really, I don't want to,because I don't want to lead on a potential long term employer if I'm going to get pregnant. Does that make *any* sense? I guess I'm looking at other jobs that have high turn over, like Starbucks, to work. then, I get the old brain thinking, "crappit. I'm 32. and I want to go work at *Starbucks!?*". I feel ashamed because I didn't get any ducks in a line earlier. I feel embarrassed too. Is there something wrong with me?
I keep thinking of my friend Sadie, who started a Hoop empire. She's a biophysicist for heavens sake, and she followed her heart, and started hooping, something she *loves*. I keep racking my brain. what can I do? what do I love? and I get zip.
Photography.
I'm doing it. I have a photo blog, I'm taking classes, I've got a book (YES! A BOOK!) coming out, with a show attached to that...and then? I've talked about Vivienne before. She's another who has taken a passion and made it shine. Do I have the chops for something like that? In photography? I think the best thing for me to do here is keep learning and keep walking this path. I love it so. But the way is not clear.
Horticulture.
I'm not sure I have the talent for it. I'd like to keep working on it. There was one point I wanted to do 'horticulture therapy', helping the elderly and disabled to garden more easily. I'll keep that in mind too.
But I guess what it comes down to is I'm feeling sorry for myself, and a little scared because Jason's back is not great, and I'm so scared that he won't be able to work, and there is no way we can survive on Starbucks wage.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
A quickie
A quick little post to say
1. the laptop is being repaired, so I have a lot less computer time since we're sharing again.
2. I joined the YMCA and am EXERCISING! that is taking some time away too. But boy does it make me feel good.
and
3. I got fired. I'm done talking about it. It was on the sketchy side, I can't do anything about it because I wasn't there for 3 months. I feel sad for the people involved (including my self) but I'm not overly angry, and I'm not overly upset. It just SUPER sucks to have to look for a job again.
I'll be back again once my laptop is back. I'm still here!
1. the laptop is being repaired, so I have a lot less computer time since we're sharing again.
2. I joined the YMCA and am EXERCISING! that is taking some time away too. But boy does it make me feel good.
and
3. I got fired. I'm done talking about it. It was on the sketchy side, I can't do anything about it because I wasn't there for 3 months. I feel sad for the people involved (including my self) but I'm not overly angry, and I'm not overly upset. It just SUPER sucks to have to look for a job again.
I'll be back again once my laptop is back. I'm still here!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)