For a little while now I've been learing about mindfulness.
First a few years ago with A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, and more recently with meditation.
One thing I learned recently was NOT to be judgmental when you find yourself doing something you don't want to be doing. So, if you are meditating, you don't beat yourself up when your mind wanders. (I say when because I also learned that it's what your mind does...think, like your heart pumps blood and your liver cleanses it, your mind thinks.) Or snapping at your kid or spouse, or flipping out because the bus is late *again* or what ever thing you might be working on. The important thing is that you recognize it. The more you practice mindfulness, the quicker you will be to see it. The main thing seems to be to see it, what ever *it* is for you. I was at an mindfulness meditation info session with my friend Sisu today. The facilitator (who was wonderful) Was saying that it doesn't matter *when* you recognize it either. The important thing is that you do. It could be a week later. When you recognize it, you loosen your hold on it.
I've been thinking a lot about complaining. I recently talked about acceptance. I'm learning to accept when I feel like complaining. Or, accept what I feel like complaining about. Or both! I've gone so far as to not read my facebook newsfeed! I'm finding myself getting angry at *other* people complaining. I think of it like I'm trying to quit smoking, or on a diet and can't eat junk food. I have to stay away from those people who are doing what I can't, because I haven't learned the skills to cope yet.
I got side tracked...it's about 2 hours later. We have a friend, North, staying with us for a few months, he just arrived, and we've been gabbing about just this! Very nice. It's not something I've been able to talk to J about. He's not in that space (and may never be, and I'm learning to accept that too). It's nice to have a good conversation about mindfulness with out the other person thinking you are nuts!
I'm eating dinner now, so I'll sign off. I'll see if I feel inspired to continue with this thread of thought. Maybe I'll even have *more* to add from my future conversations with North.